


For All Her Goodness

by Woofemus



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 08:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8659210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woofemus/pseuds/Woofemus
Summary: “I trust you,” Alisha repeats, even softer than before. Her thumb runs over Rose’s fingers, a small comfort. So there’s no warning at all when those fingers clamp down, holding so tightly that it feels like Alisha’s scared of Rose running away if she doesn’t. “But why is it that you can’t trust me?”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosenkrone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosenkrone/gifts).



> I ended up mixing together both game and anime-verse while writing this so this takes place some time after Alisha's DLC but also makes references to the anime, specifically Rose taking the assassination job, and also all the Shepherd things the anime gave us.

Sometimes, Rose can’t help but feel like the world’s out to get her at this point. Of course, when she’s doing something like fighting the literal embodiment of bad things, that’s probably a given; it wants to get rid of her as much as she wants to get rid of it. The feeling’s mutual, so nothing to it, really. It’s just Rose’s job as the Shepherd, and the world being exceedingly difficult on her as always.

At least, until right now, as Rose stares at the horrifically familiar scene before her.

It’s not exactly the same of course, but senseless violence and carnage, Rose’s already seen it all. In a corner inside the Volgran forest, there’s bodies strewn all over a devastated camp, tear marks all over the bodies. Some faces are torn more than others, like they’ve been bitten straight off. Limbs are all over the place, and there’s just so much blood.

Rose’s not even surprised, calm as she carefully steps into the camp. Mikleo is the only one who doesn’t join her, standing at the edge and looking sick. She doesn’t blame him. He might’ve been in war and seen all the horrific things but that doesn’t compare to _this_ , senseless slaughter from people that _aren’t_ soldiers. Rose doesn’t know who these people are, but there aren’t weapons or what few she can spot are only meant for self-defense.

It’s gruesome, but this scene is just so similar to one out of many of Rose’s childhood.

The only difference is that now, she knows the _true_ cause.

“So, we looking for one hellion or a pack?” Rose asks in a voice brusquer than usual. The malevolence is thick, engulfing her entire body. Still, it doesn’t compare to Camlann, and she’s more than glad for that. They still have to be careful though, there’s no telling what else is lurking here, or if any ghosts born of malevolence will arise from these corpses.

“If it’s only one, that thing must be huge,” Zaveid answers with a thoughtful hum. “Some kind of beast-like hellion, of course.”

“Can’t rule out a whole group too,” Edna adds, bending down to look at something in a pile. She makes a surprised sound. Rose scrambles right over, a hand already on a dagger.

 _Now,_ Rose feels sick.

It’s the body of a child, laying face down. Thankfully, _thankfully,_ they don’t look as torn up as the rest of the bodies, but there’s also no movement, which means…

Edna nudges her and gestures with her head. Rose follows, and stills.

The child in front of them isn’t the only one.

Rose’s grip tightens for a split second before she forcibly lets go, taking a deep breath. It would be terrible of her to lose her cool now. Whatever they’re dealing with, it’s going to be dangerous. It’s a beast, but it might also be some sort of dragon beast. With all the weird dragon-like things she’s seen, she can’t rule out that possibility either. Whatever it is, she needs to be ready.

“… we’ve seen all we need to. Let’s go,” Rose says stiffly, heading off. She can sense the malevolence heading off past the children. So either the children were the first to die, or the last. Rose’s not sure which one she prefers. There’s one thing she does know though.

The Shepherd will avenge their deaths, and the Scattered Bones will lay them to rest.

It takes them a very long time, searching high and low through a tall and huge forest that offers them no help with its twists and turns. A day passes before they finally make progress.

As in run into the very hellion itself, a hulking werebeast that easily towers over Rose. Drool drips down its maw in disgustingly large quantities, the fur around its mouth a horrifying red. Its claws are just as big, and also reddened. The red splattered across its chest feels redundant at this point.

 _That’s helpful_ , Rose thinks as she twirls her daggers. The seraphim are already spreading themselves out. It’s only one, and thankfully not some kind of dragon.

Now comes the hardest part.

As inconspicuous as she can, Rose takes several deep breaths, steeling herself more and more with each one. She wishes it isn’t the case, but it’s a human underneath that miasma of malevolence. A soldier? No, they would have turned into a lizard instead, not this werebeast. A normal human then? What sins will she see, underneath everything?

Whatever the case, Rose needs to do something. She can’t hesitate here, not when so many lives have already been lost to this hellion already. It’s the least she can do for those departed. She squints her eyes, looking past the fog of malevolence, to the human underneath. It’s the least she can do, for these people unfortunate to turn into a hellion.

The outline of a human comes into the sight, and Rose squints harder, wondering if she’s seeing right. The human’s kind of tiny, much smaller than she expected from such a giant beast. That isn’t too strange, she’s run into odder hellions—

 _Oh,_ Rose soon realizes, blood turning cold.

The hellion’s a kid.

The hellion that killed them all is a child.

“Rose!”

The shout is all the warning she has before the hellion lunges forward. It’s all she can do to just throw herself to the side, hearing the hellion zip right past her. She only has another second to react before it fixes itself and launches at her again.

Regaining her footing is easy now that she knows what she’s dealing with. Hellions trying to outspeed her isn’t anything she hasn’t run into and before long, her years of experience and nimbleness allow her to dodge what this hellion is throwing at her.

The hellion snarls, most likely frustrated that Rose isn’t yet skewered. It raises its claws—Rose slides backward just as a wall of flame appears inbetween them. Rose opens her mouth, the cry for _Filk Zadeya_ at the back of her throat (wind will always instinctively be the first element she calls) but she snaps her mouth shut instead, readying her daggers. No, she’ll do this herself.

“Rose!” Zaveid calls out with just the slightest hint of worry once he realizes they’re not armatizing.

“I’ve got this!” she calls back, waiting for just one more second. The hellion is still reared back in surprise when the flames start to die down. Rose takes the opportunity to dart forward. She’ll end this in one strike.

“Sorry,” she says aloud, finishing the rest of the sentence in her mind, _I’ll save you now._

The hellion throws its arm out, Rose’s dagger sinks into it, flames burst out, and the memories come rushing.

_It hurts._

_I’m hungry._

_They promised to feed us but there’s no food._

_The adults take everything from us._

_I’m so hungry._

_Will these people have food?_

_I want to eat._

_I’m so tired…_

_But I want to eat…_

Rose blinks rapidly, trying to clear her head. But she can’t, the scene replaying itself over and over in her mind. She can recall everything so clearly that it feels like she was there instead.

She can’t tell if it’s the boy’s memories, or her own.

“Rose!”

It’s Edna who shouts this time, and Rose snaps back to the present the same time the hellion thrusts its other arm out.

Too late.

Razor-sharp claws rake through Rose’s side. Pain erupts through her mind and she screams, collapsing to the ground as she struggles to press against her wound. The hellion roars and rears its claws back, to finish the battle once and for all.

A stream of water hits it in the face dead on and forces it backward. Pendulums circle around the hellion before closing in, trapping it within the wires and squeezing tightly.

Rose weakly looks up, watching as the seraphim handle everything. The flames of purification are eating away at the hellion but it doesn’t seem to be changing back. Lailah’s yelling something at the others, and Rose is too busy trying to keep the pain back to really hear.  

No, she still has to be the one to do this, she won’t let them take this one away from her even if she can’t even move.

She’s the Shepherd, after all.

With tremendous willpower trained from so many years and experience, Rose rises back to her feet. She watches for a single moment before darting out past the seraphim, spinning through the air. Blood flies all over but she doesn’t care anymore, not with her target in front of her. She lands right in front of the boy and, with a near inhuman speed and strength, drives her dagger straight into his neck. The flames of purification burst forth, but it’s already too late.

Too late for him, too late for Rose, and the memories ripple through her before abruptly stopping.

The hellion gurgles on his blood, waving its claws frantically before it abruptly stops. It falls onto the ground with a thud, and doesn’t move.

Rose struggles to catch her breathing, making sure to keep her eyes on the hellion. The malevolence is slowly dissipating from the body. She blinks, and there’s no hellion anymore, just a little boy who lost the coin flip when he was born.

Rose falls down to her knees, unable to hold herself up any longer.

It’d been like looking into a mirror, and had she not been saved, she would have turned out exactly like this boy, trapped as a hellion with no way out but death.

Rose can deal with humans that gleefully murder under the masquerade of some divine mission, because all she has to do is put a knife in their throat to stop their attacks. Rose can deal with being surrounded by evils and monsters no human except her will ever see, because she has the power to stop them, to purify and lay them to rest.

Rose can deal with every shitty thing the world can throw at her, except children.

With that final thought, Rose collapses in a puddle of her own blood.

* * *

When Rose opens her eyes, it’s _right_ in the middle of Edna and Mikleo’s healing session. It must have been worse than she thought, if she needs both seraphim working at her. Behind them, there’s Lailah and Zaveid, standing guard but also watching with some morbid fascination.

Rose opens her mouth to talk— _oh, there it is,_ when she registers _exactly_ what’s happening to her body. 

It’s nice to be healed. It’s not nice to feel it happening at the same time.

“How nice, you’re awake,” Edna says through a strained voice. “Now can you go back to sleep?”

“E-easier said than done,” Rose gasps out, hissing through her teeth at the awful feeling of everything.

“Suit yourself,” Edna retorts back, but Rose really wishes she could. It’d be easier on them, and she doesn’t have to just… _feel._

How many holes does she even have? It feels like all she’s been doing is bleeding out through her side. Her head’s swimming and she can barely even see straight. She might as well be hallucinating that Mikleo and Edna are in front of her at this point. Why, she thinks she might’ve just slipped back into sleep and started dreaming up everything else.

It’s the only way to explain why _Alisha,_ of all the people in the entire damned continent, is here right now, blinking owlishly at her. Rose stares right back, or at least she tries to, eyes narrowed into slits to try to minimize all the spinning.

Rose decides that out of all the dreams she’s had with Alisha in them, this is the most awful of them all.

Mikleo mutters something and the glow of his hands become stronger—Rose nearly bites through her lip in sheer pain.

Nope, this isn’t a dream. This is real, and that means Alisha really is in front of her.

 _Why,_ she wants to ask, but she’s too busy gritting her teeth instead. It hurts to move so she tries to smile, weakly raising her head to look at the princess scrambling over. She opens her mouth to speak _something_ at least but she ends up coughing, spitting out blood afterward. The action jostles her wounds and makes Edna swear, and she bites back another hiss of pain.

“R-Rose!”

Oh, now Alisha’s finally talking, getting through the whole shock. Rose wishes she were still in shock. Everything would probably hurt less right now, maybe.

There’s something inside of her that feels like it’s both being pushed apart and then pulled together again, like there’s some part of her being made anew. It probably is. She’s not sure how the whole healing process works but she’s definitely sure seraphic artes don’t just make new body parts out of nowhere.

That would be kind of cool if they did though.

“We can close the wounds but you’ll have to be careful not to reopen them again,” Mikleo speaks through strained tones, sweat dripping from his forehead. “We’ll have to heal you again after a few hours, when your body isn’t so stressed.”

“S-serious?” Rose pushes down the pained groan threatening to break through. As convenient as seraphic healing is, Rose is definitely no big fan of them. There’s just something about seeing broken skin suddenly fix itself or the bones inside of her forcibly realigning that never sits well with Rose. Even if natural healing takes forever, Rose sure doesn’t _like_ to feel her own insides rearranging themselves back to where they’re supposed to be.

You win some, you lose some, Rose figures.

The glow from Edna and Mikleo’s hands eventually fade away. With apprehension, Rose squints down at her body. Her clothes are hiding most of it but it’s an awful bloody mess, torn and ripped from huge claws. If she had been just a second slower, she wouldn’t even be here right now. Her skin underneath is more than tender, seconds away from breaking once more.

Being frail like this is one terrible thing about being human.

But if she were a hellion…

Rose blinks, trying to get her sight to stop swimming. Why is it spinning so much—oh, right, blood loss, she remembers. Alisha’s in front of her now, and Rose feels a hand slide under her knees and behind her back—

“H-h-hey!” Rose lurches forward and grabs Alisha’s hand, not even trying to hide the hiss of pain this time.

“R-Rose! What are you doing?!”

“I-I should be asking that!” Rose turns to look at Alisha in tired disbelief. “I’m perfectly fine, I can walk back.”

“No you can’t,” Alisha immediately answers, a frown on her pretty face. “Night’s coming soon though, we won’t be able to get back to town in time.”

“Tintagel’s not too far from here,” Lailah, standing behind them all, supplies.

“Tintagel?” Alisha asks, blinking.

“It’s a ruin,” Edna explains with a shrug.

“Huh? A ruin? I’ve never heard of that name in the Celestial Record.”

“Because it’s not in there. Not all the ruins on this continent are in the Celestial Record,” Rose says, laughing weakly. Alisha shoots her a look with narrowed eyes before moving forward again.

“H-hey, wait!”

“Rose, I’m not going to let you walk back with these wounds—”

“Daggers,” Rose blurts out before she coughs. Iron coats the inside of her mouth and she spits it out toward the side, ignoring Alisha’s grimace. It’s the least of her worries right now. “My… my daggers. I was fighting and…” With utmost effort, Rose glances off to the side. Alisha follows her gaze, and Rose recognizes the exact moment Alisha registers what she’s looking at, when her hands tense.

“A… a human?” Alisha’s voice is quiet. Her hands slide off, and Rose thinks it feels cold, much colder than she’s ever felt. Of course it looks like there’s a dead human on the ground. It’s exactly what it looks like, another life to add to her failure.

Rose laughs, a hollow sound that rings into the air of the forest. “Yeah, don’t worry about him. He’s dead. Gave almost as good as he got though.” Rose almost laughs again when she catches Alisha wrinkling her nose in displeasure at the casual remark. Instead, she puts her arm on the ground, willing all of her strength to push herself up. “J-just let me get my daggers and—”

“I’ll get them,” Alisha says in such a brusque tone that lets Rose know _exactly_ what she should do instead. When even Mikleo shoots her a look, Rose settles back down a pained sigh. With vision swimming, she tries her best to watch Alisha instead.

Alisha’s the type of person who can never hide her emotions. With her quick and hurried steps, she’s obviously worried, but Rose had heard the anger just seconds ago. Ah, Rose thinks with a slight shudder, she’s really going to be in for it later.

Alisha bends down, picking up the bloody dagger on the ground without a second thought. When she gets to the one embedded into the throat, Rose catches the exact moment Alisha realizes.

“A… a boy?”

Rose flinches at Alisha’s uneasy whisper, the words cutting deep into her own heart. “Y-yeah, uh, a-anyway, I can walk, so I-I’ll take that one by myself—”

“Stay there,” Alisha commands, shooting a warning look over her shoulder. She turns back to the dead boy, hesitates for another second, and pulls free the dagger.

Rose caught the way Alisha turned her face away at the last second. It makes her feel awful, for having Alisha do something like this. _She insisted,_ a part of Rose’s mind whispers callously, but she pushes that side away. Alisha’s a champion of the people and something like this is… wrong.

Alisha only reaches behind to that odd pack hidden by her tabard that Rose’s never figured out how she even keeps to grab… a cloth? Oh, she’s wrapping the daggers in the cloth and coming back now, handing the daggers to Mikleo with a nod.

Rose can’t help but bring her eyes down to Alisha’s hands, where redness stains her white gloves. She laughs, a bitter sound, and ignores the confused look Alisha gives her.

Alisha’s hands are back on Rose again, one under her knee and the other on her back. Once Alisha has a steady grip, she easily lifts Rose up, careful of the wound on Rose, peering down at it to make sure she hasn’t disturbed it. Satisfied that everything seems fine, Alisha begins to walk, following the instructions of Lailah to the ruins.

Rose’s too tired to even protest, letting her head loll onto Alisha’s shoulder in quiet acceptance. From where she is, she can hear Alisha’s heart beating underneath, a quick rhythm from exertion. Rose focuses on it to distract from her pain, closes her eyes, and slips into a dream.

* * *

_Sometimes, there’s a nice old lady at the corner of all the rundown houses who comes out and gives them bread that’s harder than the stones under their feet. There’s always a huge crowd of them whenever she opens her door, all eager and pushing each other out of the way. Rose remembers fighting tooth and nail for just one of those slices._

_Then, the old lady stops doing it one day, and the next, and before long, it’s been a whole month since she’s brought out that awful bread. She’s stopped coming out at all, not since that knight came to her house one day and she hasn’t stopped crying and wailed about never seeing her son ever again._

_Her crying stops one day and Rose remembers seeing someone run out her house. They ran so fast that even Rose knew with her small mind that no human could run_ that _fast. But maybe it had been a trick of her hungry mind, and the old lady’s door slammed shut. It never opened again after that day._

_Oh, Rose thinks. She has to find another place now._

_Except she doesn’t remember_ **that** _old lady at all. Rose remembered someone who still stood with a tall back, still had some color in her hair, and smelled perpetually like the six cats she had around instead of a son. There was never a son in the first place. She doesn’t remember that other lady at all._

_These aren’t her memories._

_Rose shuts her eyes, and opens them._

_Now she’s back in her own memories. She’s no longer in Pendrago but on the battlefields etched deep into her mind, all the wrongness she’s grown up in. The sky’s been darkened with smoke, dead bodies are strewn all over the ground, it smells like rotting death, and Rose’s never felt more at home than here._

_Life on the battlefield’s different, much different than the city, but actually, not really. It’s all kill or be killed in the end. Hide from the knights, hide from the soldiers, scour through the bodies afterward for things, hide from the adults who try to take the things she’s found. Unless they offer her food. But she still has to be careful. Adults are unimaginably cruel even to children. This is still a battlefield, after all._

_Once though, there’s someone standing in the middle of the battlefield, the only one who doesn’t have blood splattered all over his armor. He’s not wearing the usual armor that the soldiers wear but he does have the colors of Rolance._

_But then again, everyone on this field has the same red color on them._

_Oh, wait. Now she remembers this. That’s Brad, leader of the Windriders. She almost dies but she gets lucky, and Brad takes her in. The Windriders love her, she gets to be a trained killer, she gets to go back to Pendrago and get admired for her skills and bravery, even gets the attention of some prince somehow. But then lots of unexplained bad things happen, Brad gets executed, and the Windriders disappear and become only a smudge on the history books of Rolance. Without any other choice, the Scattered Bones arise from its remains._

_At least, that’s what’s supposed to happen. When Rose gets closer, Brad turns around._

_Except it’s not Brad, it’s this awful thing with a lizard’s head instead, hissing at her and raising its bloody sword, and Rose isn’t six anymore, she’s bigger and there’s this white cape with unfamiliar symbols over her shoulders, there’s a strange wind whipping all the dead air around, and the knife in her hand burns with a terrible blue flame._

_“Purify him,” a voice at her side whispers, right into her ear. Rose swivels but there’s no one there and all she has is this_ sense _that someone’s next to her. Who is this? Where did they even come from? Where’s everyone else?_

_No, she whispers in her mind, dropping the knife._

_When the knife cuts into the dirt, Rose is small again and Brad is back to normal. Okay, this makes sense._

_Except a newfound fear grips her mind instead, and she’s panicking, trying to scramble away from that bloody sword in his hand. She just watched him behead a soldier with just a flick of his hand; who’s to say he won’t do the same to her?_

_Don’t come any closer, don’t come any closer, don’t you **dare come any closer—**_

_Rose opens her mouth and a roar that sounds more beast than human comes out, and now she’s darting forward with her claws, taking in sick satisfaction when her claws sink into soft flesh._

_There’s a scream, but it isn’t the low rumble of a man she expected._

_Rose blinks, and looks down at herself. She’s back to human again. She’s wearing the garb of the Scattered Bones. She’s in some kind of castle. One of her daggers is in her hand, slicked with blood._

_Ah, she’s on a mission then? What evil is she slaying from the world this time? Some sick noble who thinks they can toy with lives as easily as they jangle money from their hands? A fake Shepherd claiming to save the world from ruin and using the blind trust of the weak-hearted for his own good?_

_A princess who thinks she can set an example even if she sacrifices innocent citizens for her pacifist ideals?_

_Rose reaches up to touch her face, and realizes there’s nothing there. Strange. Wouldn’t she need to hide her identity? Her face is wet now. Oh, there’s blood on her hands too. Probably a messy kill._

_There’s a trail of blood starting at her feet. Rose follows it with her eyes._

_There, on the throne of Hyland, with Rose’s other dagger impaled into the neck, eyes staring accusingly at her, is Alisha’s crumpled body._

* * *

Rose is swearing through her teeth when she snaps open her eyes and shoots straight up. Her middle explodes in sudden pain and she keels over with a yelp. Sweat falls from her face, wetting the blankets on top of her.

She’s no stranger to nightmares, but it doesn’t mean she has to like them. She swears again, unable to get the last image out of her mind.

“Rose?!”

Lailah’s at her side, dabbing at her face with a towel. Rose falls back to the bed, swearing up and down as she clenches her hands into the blanket. Weren’t Mikleo and Edna supposed to have healed her? Why the hell does it still hurt so much?

Lailah’s using some of her seraphic artes to ease some of the pain. Lailah’s specialty isn’t healing, but it helps, even if only a little. Rose gives her a thankful nod.

“Where’s Alisha?” she asks after, and grimaces at the nasty rasp she has. How long has she been out?

“Alisha?” Lailah blinks, confused. Rose blinks back. Was Alisha some part of some fever dream she was having from all that pain? She hopes so.

She _really_ hopes so.

“I’m back!”

And just like that, Rose’s hopes are dashed, when Alisha, oddly cheerful, appears at the doorway with Mikleo in tow. Her smile immediately drops once she notices Rose making pained faces at her.

“O-oh!”

It should make Rose feel something when Alisha’s face splits into the most relieved expression ever, all but dashing over to Rose’s side. Rose can see the sheen of tears in Alisha’s eyes, and she wants to say something about it, wants to tease her for always being such a huge crybaby.

Rose shamefully looks away. She can’t stand being looked at like that right now. Who told Alisha she could even be here right now? How does she just always seem to _know_?

“… Rose?” Alisha’s voice is slow and hesitant. The bed sinks a little when Alisha sits down next to her. Despite every instinct telling her to look at Alisha, Rose still looks away, keeping her eyes downward. Out of the corner of her eye, she spies her daggers left on the bed, sheathed now. Alisha must’ve cleaned them. Good, she can just grab them and go. She’ll make sure to thank her later, probably in a letter in two weeks—

— _there’s Alisha’s body, with one of Rose’s daggers inside—_

A hand brushes against Rose’s cheek and she yelps embarrassingly loud, nearly falling over too.

“Rose!”

Hands frantically grab at her, wrapping around her body. Rose resists however weakly, trying to push Alisha off.

“Rose,” Alisha pleads in a pitifully soft voice that Rose thinks she should never make. It works, and Rose finally stops, her hands falling and landing in a dull thud on the bed.

Rose takes several deep breaths. It seems to calm down Alisha too, when her grip on Rose slackens.

“So, what’s the princess doing all the way out here?” Rose asks, grimacing at the scratchiness in her throat. It feels like she’s only been out for a day but with her sort of wound, it might just be two or three.

Maybe four, with all the exhaustion finally catching up to her too.

Rose feels Alisha’s hands tensing for a brief second where they are on her body. Alisha’s never liked it when Rose calls her princess, at least not like this, where it’s more than painfully obvious that Rose is trying to hide away. Maybe if Rose was thinking clear, she’d be able to put in some kind of effort.

Rose hates that she’s gotten so transparent, hates that Alisha is starting to learn how to read her so well.

“Well,” Alisha starts, rather matter-of-factly, but Rose also knows Alisha enough to catch the undercurrent of testiness. “I was coming from Glaviend Basin, on my way to Pendrago when I saw a hellion as I went through the forest. I realized that if I could see them, you had to be around somewhere. So I went searching through the woods until I found you.”

“Jeez, what the heck?” Rose actually pulls back to look at Alisha in disbelief. “Volgran’s _huge,_ and you’re saying you found me just like that? What are you, some kind of dog?”

In spite of herself, Alisha’s lips tug upward. “If I am, then it must always be your runaway scent that I pick up all the time.”

“H-hey! That was uncalled for. I actually smell really nice, and I don’t run away _all_ the time.”

“Your… scent aside, perhaps I might just be getting better at catching you then?”  

“Hah! Maybe I’m just letting myself get caught—” Rose coughs mid-sentence, grimacing with pain.

“Rose! You’re still weak, you need rest.” Alisha’s hands try to ease her back down but Rose shakes her head.

“N-no, I can’t rest. I… I need to go out and…”

Alisha blinks at her, pensive. “That boy really was a hellion, wasn’t he? What happened?”

Shit. That’s not what Rose needs right now, especially when it looks like Alisha’s come to some sort of decision. “If it’s a hellion, then I can offer my assistance,” Alisha says.

Most definitely _not._

“No!” Rose blurts out, weakly grabbing at Alisha. “I mean, uh, no, he’s…”

“Rose.” It’s not Alisha that speaks up, but Lailah instead. Oh, Rose forgot she was even there in the first place. Lailah’s standing behind them looking like that worried mother Rose’s already come to expect. “Surely you must see how much this is affecting you now.”

“Unless you need me to make some more holes in you?” Edna’s voice pipes up from the other end of the bed. “Well, it doesn’t matter. We already told Alisha anyway.”

“What?!” Rose snaps her head to Edna—and dammit, that actually hurts, but this doesn’t compare to the betrayal she feels right now.  

“Hm? Told me what?” Alisha glances back and forth between all of them. Rose gapes, realizing she’s been had, but it’s too late now, when Alisha hones back in on Rose, eyes narrowed. “Rose! Are you hiding something from me again? Is this why you haven’t come to see me for so many months?” Even if she sounds angry, Rose notices the quiver in both Alisha’s voice and lips. Oh no.

“I-I, uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rose tries to drag herself out of Alisha’s arms. Having any sort of contact between them will weaken her resolve. Unfortunately, there’s really only so much she can do in her pathetic state. It isn’t as if she can do anything anyway, not when Alisha wises up and clamps her hands down on Rose again, and pulls her back.

Rose switches tactics, grinning up at Alisha (completely hating how forced it feels). “Wow, miss me that much that you don’t want to let me go? I’m flattered, but I think I’m too hurt for the stuff you might want to--”

“ _Rose_ ,” Alisha says threateningly, but there’s that lovely pink hue on her face to take the edge off. Only some though. “Don’t you dare change the subject!”

“I-I’m not! Y-you’re probably just busy and you shouldn’t--”

“Lailah,” Alisha cuts in, “is Rose hiding something from me?”

“Of course!”

The exchange happens so quickly that Rose doesn’t even quite realize until seconds later, and she gapes at them. It was almost _so_ perfect that Rose’s going to swear forever that they _practiced_ this, especially when Lailah looks like she’s trying so hard not to crack a smile.

Alisha’s face is anything but joking though, still staring at Rose with that hard look in her eyes.

Rose nervously laughs, slowly scooting away from that intense look. “Look, I’m pretty tired and sleep sounds like a good idea right now, and I’m sure you also have, uh, lots of other things to do too. How about you let me sleep and then I’ll tell you everything when I wake up?”

Alisha pulls back in surprise, blinking at her. Rose feels just a little guilty playing underhanded but she needs this right now. She needs her space, she can’t let Alisha know about anything. Alisha’s got too much trouble on her hands, with trying to smooth things over into the peace treaty, dealing with awful politicians back at her home, constantly forced to travel, all while still trying to be a protector of the people. It’s a hard life, but it fits Alisha. A good Squire she is too, this is _one_ thing Alisha doesn’t need to do as well.

Rose wishes she didn’t feel like she was lying to herself instead.

Alisha hasn’t spoken anything, expression oddly unreadable. She’s staring at Rose still, eyes roaming like she’s trying to look for something. Rose can’t help but shift uncomfortably, nervously darting her eyes between Alisha’s eyes and anywhere but there. Rose swears she can hear the seconds ticking down even if there’s no clock in the room.  

It feels like a long time before any of them move, but Alisha’s the one who does. She reaches forward, grabbing one of Rose’s hands with both her own. The touch is light but it sends shockwaves through Rose and she freezes up. _Pull away,_ her mind is screaming, _you know what’s coming next, you can’t let her do this, you can’t let her see you like this._

But her hand stays where it is, a heavier weight than Rose’s ever realized, and Alisha plays her final card.

“Rose,” Alisha starts, voice quiet. “I… I want you to know that I trust you. Very much.”

Rose’s staring at their hands instead of facing Alisha so it takes her a while to realize Alisha’s looking at her expectantly, waiting for an answer. She swallows, throat dry, and slowly nods.

“I trust you,” Alisha repeats, even softer than before. Her thumb runs over Rose’s fingers, a small comfort. So there’s no warning at all when those fingers clamp down, holding so tightly that it feels like Alisha’s scared of Rose running away if she doesn’t. “But why is it that you can’t trust me?”

“What?” Rose’s head whips up so fast that it feels like she’ll snap her head off. She doesn’t care about that though, there’s something more important to address here as she stares wide-eyed at Alisha—and that’s when she realizes her final mistake.

… oh, now that’s just _unfair._

Even when she looks hurt and betrayed, with tears shining in her eyes, giving her the most pleading look ever, Alisha looks so lovely. From this close now though, Rose can see the hint of bags under her eyes, how Alisha’s hair isn’t done in her usual elegant style but in a messy ponytail instead, how her face is paler than normal and her hands tremble. She looks so unlike her usual self and Rose is realizing that Alisha’s probably stayed up the whole time watching over her even with the seraphim by her side.

And still, Alisha is hauntingly beautiful.

“I…” Rose curls her fingers, and abruptly gets reminded that they’re in Alisha’s grasp, fingertips brushing against fingertips. It’s such an innocent gesture but Rose feels like it might just be the most intimate she’s ever felt with someone. It’s awful, how Alisha makes her feel like this.

“Rose, _please,_ ” Alisha begs, “you helped me when I was at my lowest. There’s something clearly bothering you, and I want so dearly to help you, but I can’t do anything if _you_ don’t _let_ me.”

It’s Alisha’s voice catching in the back of her throat, the way she just looks so angry and afraid at the same time, the tears in her eyes that Rose knows are just seconds from pouring out, that finally wears her down.

Most of all, she can’t stand the way Alisha looks like she’s about to lose Rose again.

Rose holds out for a tumultuous second before sighing, whole body sagging in defeat. She’s too tired for this, both physically and mentally. Alisha’s ability to wear her down in more ways than one is a curse right now.  

“It’s… it’s not… not really about trust or…something...” Rose trails off, trying to figure out how to sound like she isn’t making excuses. But she really is, isn’t she? Rose’s always been good at turning tail and hiding, running from everything she doesn’t want to deal with. She doesn’t know how to continue, because she knows she’ll sound utterly pathetic if she does.

But it’s not about sounding pathetic. Okay, yes it is, but that’s only a part of it. This is her deepest fear, something that not even the seraphim know though she’s sure they suspect, after so many months of traveling and sharing the same body together. They might not be Mikleo and Sorey, but the bonds between a Shepherd and their seraphim is still special indeed. Why else would they go through all this trouble of letting Alisha get so close to her?

It’s why she also hates them right now, because Alisha’s the one she’s truly weak again, the one Rose’s afraid of. Alisha just feels so strongly and _honestly_ that Rose doesn’t know what to do in the face of that sometimes. After so many years of living in the shadows, of so much lying and deceit in her life, it feels… nice, to be able to see someone so candid and sincere with their words and themselves.

That’s why, what she fears most of all, is what Alisha will think of her after everything.

Rose opens her mouth, and falters. No, she can deal with this, by herself. Rose’s always been someone who does all the heavy lifting, she doesn’t need Alisha to worry about her, not when she already has so much on her plate. In these times of turmoil, the Shepherd is a paragon and symbol of hope. Rose just needs to play that part perfectly for a while, she can at least do that much, for Sorey and his sacrifice, for Alisha and all her efforts for peace. She… she just needs to…

“Rose,” Alisha says, softly, like she’s trying to coax her. Her hands climb from Rose’s fingertips to surround her hand now, wrapping her hands around it. It’s warm. It’s so warm, it nearly makes Rose cry.

“I can’t do it anymore,” Rose blurts out. She can’t look at Alisha right now, doesn’t want to see what sort of face she’s making, doesn’t want to see that look of pity in her eyes. She stares down at where her other hand, resting against the bed it. She flattens it, fingertips digging into the hard mattress, uses it to distract herself from the warmth of her other hand.

“You can’t do what?” Alisha asks, still soft, so gentle, so patient. When did she get like that? How can she suddenly be all those things that Rose is weak against? It’s so unfair.

“Everything,” Rose admits in a choked breath. Her hand curls into a fist, fingernails digging into her skin. “ _Everything,_ ” she repeats helplessly. It should make her feel horrified to admit something so pathetic so openly, but the dam’s been opened, and all of her feelings pour out into one single sentence that speaks more than enough. “I can’t be the Shepherd anymore.”

The silence afterward feels like the heaviest burden she’s ever had. At the same time, there’s also a small part of her that feels so relieved. Soon though, the relief gives way to a different emotion: shame.  

Alisha still hasn’t spoken at all. She has Rose’s hand in a loose hold, still now. Rose’s half-tempted to just pull back but she isn’t sure what she wants to do right now. She feels so tired and wants to rest until the next year or three. Anything, to avoid seeing Alisha. She can’t even look at her right now, she’s such a coward.

The warmth disappears from her hand. Rose almost flinches away but she doesn’t, still staring down at the bed, trying to keep her face hidden with her bangs. Alisha’s going to yell at her, call her a coward, tell her she’s never going to be like those other Shepherds (even if Rose knows better about some of them), tell her that someone like her should have known better than to become a Shepherd.

Geez, how _low_ she’s reached, if she’s doing something like wallowing in this.

So she’s caught off guard instead, when Alisha shifts closer and gently places her hand on Rose’s cheek. Her thumb is rubbing soothingly circles, and that’s nearly enough for tears to spring to Rose’s eyes. She’d rather Alisha yell at her, not let her down gently like this. Why does Alisha have to be so damned nice?   

“You know,” Alisha starts, carefully. “I’ve read the Celestial Record so many times since I was young. Out of all the things that fascinated me, it was the Shepherd, with their long lost ability to see the seraphim.” The hand on Rose’s cheek stops rubbing circles, moving instead to brush the bangs out of her hair. “I admired the Shepherd. So, _so,_ much, that I once set out on a foolhardy journey to find the Shepherd, to save us from the Age of Chaos.”

 _That certainly sounds like an Alisha thing to do_ , Rose wants to say, but she holds her tongue, knowing there’s more Alisha still has to say.

“I ended up in Elysia and met Sorey, and well, do you know what my first words to him were?”

“’Hi, I’m looking for a Shepherd, know where I could find ‘em?’” Rose manages to joke even if it feels so hard to form words right now. It makes her smile just a tiny bit when she hears Alisha hold back a laugh.

“Close. I asked if _he_ was the Shepherd.”

And now, Rose is the one laughing. “Seriously? I bet Mikleo was there making funny faces at you two the whole time.” Alisha makes a sound like she’s just barely realizing exactly that. Rose finally chances a peek up, and Alisha’s trying to hide her laughter behind a hand. Their eyes meet, and Rose can’t help but lose her smile, apprehensive now.

Alisha continues. “I believed, with all my might, that the Shepherd coming would save the world. When Sorey drew the Sacred Blade at the festival, I was ecstatic. If only I had soon realized that it was only the beginning of everything…”

Silence. Alisha’s hand draws away, to her lap where she folds it with her other hand. Rose resists the urge to touch her own cheek, trying not to think about how cold it suddenly feels. Alisha takes one, long, deep breath, before she continues.

“What I should have realized though, was that the Shepherd can’t do everything. I was always so hurried to make a difference but all the moments my paths crossed with Sorey on his journey, I am ashamed to confess that there were numerous times I thought ‘the Shepherd is here, he’ll make things right.’ I pushed so many expectations onto Sorey, without even realizing how much it hurt him in the end.”

“That’s just Sorey for you, always trying to do everything by himself,” Rose mumbles, wishing she could forget that one final smile he gave her before disappearing into the abyss.

“I know,” Alisha answers in a solemn voice before leveling a stare to Rose. “And also exactly like you too, Rose.” Alisha breaks a little of her seriousness to tilt her head, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Didn’t we learn our lesson on trying to work together?” 

“Ugh.” Rose scrunches up her nose and pointedly looks away. Circumstances are what they are, but Rose still doesn’t like being reminded of that time she acted so stupid.

“But I guess what I’m trying to say is…” Alisha reaches out and takes Rose’s hand again, cradling it gently. “That you aren’t alone, that you don’t have to shoulder all your burdens by yourself, that it’s okay to feel weak sometimes. You’re the Shepherd but you’re every bit as human as the rest of us are.”

Rose exhales slowly, out through her mouth in a shaky breath. “I… I don’t think it’s that easy, Alisha.”

“Why not?”

The reply comes immediately that Rose blinks, wondering if she’s heard right. When she turns to Alisha, she blinks again, frozen at the intense look on the princess’ face. “Why not?” Alisha asks again, quieter but no less firm. “Tell me.”

“Because! Because… it’s… I…” Rose is running out of things to say at this point. Not that she can get her mind working, not with the intense way Alisha’s staring at her. Geez, what happened to the Alisha that was so unsure of herself, wavering at all her chances and choices in the world? Why is Alisha so certain and resolute in everything now? Alisha’s no stranger to the dark side of humans, but why is it that she can still believe so strongly in the good of all people, why is she so willing to dirty her hands for the sake of a world that took all from her?

Why can’t Rose be like that?

“How the hell is someone like _me_ supposed to be a _Shepherd_? I’m an assassin, damn it all! How am I supposed to claim to be a savior of people when what I’ve done is kill them behind their backs? How many people have I killed were just hellions in disguise, waiting for purification to save them because they couldn’t control themselves any longer? Meanwhile, there’s people who _aren’t_ hellions walking around doing awful things that I can’t do anything about because I’m the _Shepherd_.” She spits the title out, and Alisha startles.

“What am I supposed to do anymore? That boy yesterday… all he was doing was trying to survive, and I couldn’t even purify him, couldn’t do _anything_ except kill him. How awful of a Shepherd I must be.”

“How many awful memories am I going to keep seeing? Am I supposed to purify people and send them back into whatever made them a hellion in the first place? Should I just kill them to put them out of their misery? And what of those that are just irredeemable pieces of shit who don’t deserve to live? Is the Shepherd supposed to turn a blind eye to them? Am _I_ supposed to do that?”

“’If it’s evil, the Scattered Bones slay it.’ What a joke! How stupid and off my rocker I must have been if I thought I could do something like slay _evil_. It’s always going to be here no matter what I do, and I can’t bring back any lives I’ve already taken.”

Rose laughs, loudly, bitterness creeping into each bark. Her wounds throb and burn but she doesn’t care. There are so many scars on her body, that one more won’t even make a difference. The seraphim will heal it back anyway, and she’ll be off to kill more hellions. That’s what the Shepherd’s supposed to do, isn’t it? And if she can’t purify it, she might as well kill it. Is that not what evil is nowadays?

“Rose!”

And suddenly, there’s a loud crack and Rose’s head is spinning and her cheek is—

She’s not sure which word she wants to use, but it’s _really hurts._ She puts a hand on her face, trying to process everything that’s happened—

Oh.

Alisha _really_ doesn’t kid around when it comes to her slaps. Geez, this is exactly like the first time how… Rose isn’t even sure anymore, not when all she’s been doing is running day and in and out chasing after monsters that only she can see, killing people all in the name of supposed good.

“Rose, don’t you dare speak like that.” Alisha’s voice, a shaking whisper, sinks into her. Rose feels the flash of anger inside of her but it quickly makes way for shame instead.

Alisha didn’t learn about all those other Shepherds like they did on their journey. It’s better for her to stay believing that all Shepherds were just like Sorey, pure and righteous. Rose’s done nothing but tarnish every heroic story about the Shepherds Alisha believed in.

None of them have spoken at all since the slap. Rose’s still rubbing her cheek, wincing at yet another painful injury added to her growing list. She deserved this one though, after saying all those things. She’s taken everything Alisha’s believes in, everything the princess is still fighting for, and throwing it all back into her face again. Why does Rose always have to do this?

They really are everything the other person isn’t.

Rose moves her hand to cover her face, closing her eyes as she sighs. “I… sorry. I didn’t mean to say all of that. I didn’t mean to…”

Mean to… what? Mean to be such a whiny baby? That’s what she just did, isn’t it? Alisha has better things to do than to listen to her whine. Rose’s never had to deal with something like this, she’s always just pushed it to the back of her mind and figured things would work out. But after everything that’s happened, she’s not sure if she can do that anymore. Not with something like this, not when she’s haunted with memories that aren’t even hers.

Something’s touching Rose’s hand now. Alisha’s. She’s trying to take it away. Rose lets her, opening her eyes and preparing for disappointment.

Alisha’s face is neutral, carefully watching Rose’s face before she smiles, so _gently_ , so _tenderly_ , it tears Rose inside.

 _Stop looking at me like that,_ she wants to say, _don’t look at me like that, why are you putting your trust in someone so stupid—_

“I… I believe that these hands were meant to help people,” Alisha says softly.

Once more, Alisha’s hands wrap around her own, and now Rose is realizing the differences between them. She’d expected a princess’ hands to be dainty and soft, but Alisha’s no regular princess. The hands wrapped around her own aren’t nearly as soft as Rose thought, full of calluses built up from years of practicing with weapons. It’s more distracting than she admits, nearly forgetting what Alisha’s trying to tell her.

Rose shakes her head, not quite able to speak just yet.

“Would I have any reason to lie to you?” Alisha replies instead, with a smile that disarms her more than she likes to admit. Even with all of her instincts screaming at her to run far, far away, Rose finds herself unable to move.

“Yes, you’ve taken so many lives with these hands…” Alisha says, and Rose looks away. It’s one thing for her to say it, it’s another to hear that from someone so pure as Alisha. “But do you know of how many people you’ve saved because of them? All those times before killing, you were thinking of the people you were going to save, weren’t you?”

“That’s… I…” Rose falters. Her quick mind is whirling, too shocked at the fact that someone like _Alisha_ is trying to defend her. What right does she have to defend a killer?

“You even came to assassinate me.” Alisha smiles like it’s just some kind of casual joke, making light of that time so long ago, but a pang of shame shoots through Rose instead. “You raised your weapon against a princess of the kingdom, hoping to spare the lives of innocents you believed I would sacrifice in the name of my ideals.” She looks back up at Rose, and her expression’s so full of trust and conviction that it does make Rose reel this time. “That’s why, in these times more than ever, I believe that there’s no better person to be the Shepherd now than _you._ ”

If Rose thought Alisha was an idiot before, she thinks the princess’ utterly _insane_ now. How can she even say something like that, even after being on the other end of Rose’s blade? Rose’s at a complete loss as to what to say now. She’s actually not proud of that moment, realizing later that she would have done more harm to the world if she had gone through with the attempt. The thought unsettles her more than she wants it to. What if they end up in another situation where they have to point blades at each other again? Would Rose even be able to do it? No, she can’t do that, not to Alisha, not even for…

The thought that she can’t think rationally when it comes to Alisha frightens her more than she realizes.

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” The words spill out of Rose before her mind catches up but she can’t help but think this is what she’s wanted to say all along. She really is though, to do something like wallow in this awful self-pity. She’s always been one to push things aside and look forward, but this is just one time where she _can’t,_ where pushing forward means spilling more blood, innocent or guilty, where there’s a possible future that Alisha’s blood might be on her hands again.

“You’re not,” Alisha says, pressing her hands down onto Rose’s. “You’re not!” she says again, insistently.

“But I’m not Sorey, or all those other Shepherds, I can’t be—”

“Rose,” Alisha pointedly interrupts, “of course you can’t be.” Rose flinches, almost laughing afterward. That’s definitely Alisha, honest to a fault, even if it stings.

“Ouch, way to hurt someone,” Rose mumbles, and Alisha has the grace to look faintly embarrassed.

“Wait, I meant, of course you can’t be, because you’re _not_ them.” And here she smiles, rubbing circles on Rose’s hands. “Because you’re _Rose_ , not Sorey, not any of those others. Just like the name he gave you, _Wilkis Wilk_ \--”

Rose groans loudly even if she knows it’s an inappropriate time. “Can you please not say that name so much.”

Alisha blinks. “What? _Wilkis Wilk_ —”

“Stop it!”

“Huh? What’s wrong with it? I think it’s absolutely perfect for you, _Wilkis Wilk_ —”

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? I swear you are.”

“Rose, what you going on about? It’s a perfectly fine name—”

“Yeah, because _you_ got _Melphis Amekia_.”

“Says the person who named me _tearful!”_

Rose grins. “Now _that’s_ a good name.”

“Ugh! Why are you always like this,” Alisha huffs, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Soon, Rose finds herself joining Alisha, a tiny smile on her own lips. The heavy atmosphere is gone now, and Rose feels… well, she does feel better.

At least until Alisha starts to stroke her hands, almost absently like she isn’t even realizing it. It makes Rose gulp, trying not to think about how nice they feel, even with all the rough calluses underneath. They’re still nicer hands that Rose will ever touch in her entire life, she thinks.

“But I do mean it though. I really do like the name that Sorey gave you. There just isn’t any other way to describe you at all.”

“I, uh, I think I’ll take that as a compliment.” Rose wants to scratch the back of her neck in embarrassment but Alisha still has her hands. Ah, dammit, it’s gotten a little warm in here. She hopes Alisha won’t notice. There’s a silence again, but it feels the most comfortable out of all of them.

“Rose,” Alisha starts, still caressing Rose’s hand. “I… I won’t pretend to understand that I know exactly what you’re going through. My resonance was never high enough to let me experience the same things that you and Sorey do…” She falters slightly but shakes her head. “I know this might be selfish of me after everything you’ve told me, but still, I must ask of you.” She pauses to take a deep breath and looks up, straight into Rose’s eyes. Her eyes are shining and they’re so _sincere_ , exactly like that time she nearly let Rose take her neck.

Rose reaches out and flicks Alisha’s forehead instead. Alisha squeaks, slapping her hands over the spot in surprise. Rose laughs at that look.

“I might’ve said a lot of things, but I don’t think I could ever stop being the Shepherd.” Rose glances down at her hand, slowly stretching her fingers. “I mean… I still _want_ to, I just… might not be the most conventional one around. It’s not every day you can say the Shepherd’s also an assassin, right? Oh, does also being a merchant count too?” Rose tries to joke, and thinks it’s a success when Alisha smiles.

“I suppose it does,” Alisha answers. “But, please remember that you need not always carry your burdens by yourself. There are only some things that only you can do as Shepherd, but I will try my best as Squire to ease your troubles. And you also have the seraphim at your side too! Speaking of which, I’ve not seen them in a while…”

Rose blinks at Alisha, who starts looking around the room, seemingly not realizing why the seraphim left. Well, it’s good for Rose. She’s not quite sure what she’d do if _Edna_ saw that terrible display of feelings and… whatever else. Ugh, to say nothing of Lailah either, always the worrywart that she is.

“Yeah,” Rose says softly to catch Alisha’s attention, “it’s up to us to make sure the world Sorey wakes up to is a good one.”

She really does mean that. She owes this much to him. She wouldn’t forgive herself otherwise.

Alisha smiles at her in agreement, expression soft and warm. Somehow, it makes Rose feel a fresh bout of guilt, as she looks down at her lap.

“I… I’m sorry, I still feel bad for unloading all of that on you. I can… I can handle it now.” Rose closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly through her mouth. Deep breaths, she’s got this. She won’t need to bother Alisha anymore—

“Did you hear nothing of what I just said?” Alisha huffs at her, frowning. “You don’t have to do everything by yourself! Depend a little on me too!”

“Y-yeah, well, you’re always busy and you’ve probably got bigger things to worry about than little old me, and there’s just so much stuff you need to get done, and… uh…” Rose trails off, realizing she’s running out of excuses to give though it isn’t as if Alisha’s falling for them, with the way she looks at Rose with raised eyebrows. She laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. It’s hard to recover when she feels like she’s spilled too many things she wasn’t supposed to.

“Rose, you’re so troublesome, do you know that?” Alisha sighs, both exasperated and fond. “For you, I will _always_ make time. I know that you’re a good person deep down, and I’ll always be on your side no matter what.” She reaches out again, taking Rose’s hand. How many times has she done this? Rose feels like too many, but it always feels so damn nice. Rose should make a joke about Alisha making excuses to touch her but Alisha’s hands feel way too nice for her to think, callouses and all. It should make her laugh, a princess holding an assassin’s hand.

It makes her choke instead, because not even Rose would wish for corruption to taint the hands of her princess.

There’s so many things Rose wants to say. Y _ou’re making the biggest mistake of your life_. _How can you trust me so much? Will you still be on my side even when I lie to you and refuse to tell you anything again? If I point my blade at you again, will you still trust me? Why are you so damned nice?_

Rose is human but she’s seen far too much evil in humans for such a long time even before becoming a Shepherd. Alisha gives her kindness far too easily, especially to her who doesn’t deserve any of it, but Rose will greedily take it all in.

It makes her remember that there’s still goodness in this world worth protecting.

“… yeah,” Rose mumbles, looking down at their hands. She curls her fingers around Alisha’s hand, warm and tight against hers. “Thanks.”

For all the evils in the world, she’ll endure it all to savor this warmth in her hands.

“Of course,” Alisha answers softly. “Ah, you must be tired though. We did spend quite some time talking. I don’t think we’ve said everything we needed to just yet but you’re injured and you need rest. Mikleo told me you’ve been running yourself ragged.”

Rose scrunches up her face. She’ll have to do something to get back at Mikleo for being such a tattletale.

“Do you need anything else?” Alisha asks. “If not, I’ll leave and let you get some rest.”

“ _Anything?_ ” Rose says, waggling her eyebrows, unable to help the grin.

“W-within reasonable boundaries, o-of course!” Alisha immediately adds, cheeks flushing.

“Yeah, well, you did also slap me too,” Rose points out, “which _really_ hurt, by the way.” Alisha’s cheeks flush even darker.

“I-I admit that was out of hand even for me—” Rose makes another face at Alisha’s word choice, but Alisha thankfully doesn’t notice, continuing on, “—but you were saying all those t-things and I just kind of reacted and…” she trails off in a mumble before letting out a louder but mortified “I’m sorry.”  

Rose feels like her heart is going to burst out of her. How can Alisha even be this cute sometimes?

“Well, if you just do one thing for me, I’ll let it go,” Rose says, trying but failing to keep the teasing smile off her face. She just can’t resist messing with Alisha sometimes.

Alisha sighs, rubbing her forehead. “I… okay, _fine_. What would you ask of me?”

“So formal! It’s not like I’m asking you to do any royal favors for me. Unless, you wanna do me a _huge_ favor and lower taxes—”

“Absolutely not.” Alisha glowers at her. Rose grins, and soon, Alisha’s trying to fight back the smile.

“Thought so. Then…” Rose glances away, embarrassed as she mumbles out her request. Alisha blinks at her.

“I… I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Can you repeat that?”

Rose nearly groans before she works up her courage again. It’s always going to feel embarrassing _asking_ for this. She hopes Alisha’s going to be able to learn how to read the mood one day.

“I, um. Stay here with me,” Rose mumbles, rubbing the back of her neck anxiously. “If y-you’re not busy,” she adds in an even quieter voice, feeling sillier than she’s ever felt in her whole life.

It takes a long moment for Alisha to finally respond but she does, murmuring a fond, “Yes, of course,” and drawing closer. Alisha’s arms wrap around Rose, and she can’t help but lean against the princess, fatigue and exhaustion finally catching up to her in this quiet moment.

Hands brush through Rose’s hair. She closes her eyes, sighing even as Alisha’s hand dips and brushes against that spot against her neck, tracing the faint outline of a scar. It feels far too long since Rose’s felt so content like this. Under her ears, Alisha’s heart beats steady, if a little fast, definitely not from exertion this time. It makes Rose laugh under her breath before she feels herself relaxing completely, letting it lull her away to sleep.

For the first time in so long, Rose’s sleep is peaceful.


End file.
